Last night was the baseball all-star game so what better time to give you another installment of "How the game is played". This week, I'm going to be a bit more brief than normal and share the awards and honors of "the game".
Most of us are familiar with the term MVP, or Most Valuable Player. Earlier, I mentioned that Justin Timberlake would be something like the reigning MVP because of his current run of Britney-Diaz-Scarlett-Biel. There's no questioning JT's status amongst the all-time greats...Cary Grant, James Dean, John F. Kennedy, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Leo DiCaprio. You get the idea.
But those aren't the only MVPs. You see, those guys would fall under the category of triple-crown MVPs. In other words, they're good looking (fewest strike outs), they have sex with gorgeous women (home runs), and they get in relationships with beautiful women (RBIs, Runs Batted In). Not every guy can be a triple-crown type guy though.
Sometimes the MVP award goes not to the guy with the most home runs, but to the guy with the best batting average. Now getting a high batting average can be achieved like Timberlake when you're always seen with a hot lady, or it can be achieved by not being consistently on base. By being on base more often, you raise your On-Base Percentage, or OBP%. Those familiar with baseball know that term.
Now, in order to get a high OBP% you have to do three things: a) go to bat a lot, b) don't strike out often, and c) be able to get RBIs. In this case, RBIs stands for Relationships By Intent, I'll explain shortly. Going to bat a lot is easy...just don't be afraid to hit on any woman you feel like approaching and don't be fearful of rejection. The more at-bats, the more pitches you'll see. The more pitches you'll see, the more pitches you'll be able to recognize. The more pitches you recognize, the more hits you get and the fewer strikeouts (b). Simple stuff.
As for those RBIs though, this means you'll have to turn those on-base opportunities into scores. In other words, you can't just date and date and date, eventually you'll have to start getting in some relationships. Now a guy like Timberlake can hit home runs all day and night (he can get laid more than Ron Jeremy if he wanted to), but it's his willingness to get in relationships that makes him the MVP. First Britney then Cameron and now Jessica Biel. That means that not only is he able to get on base (and date these celeb women), but he's able to bring the runners home (get into tabloid-worthy relationships with them).
Now, there are some guys who think playing "the game" means staying single. Nonsense. Playing the game simply means figuring out how best to score enough runs to win the game. For some guys, hitting home runs is enough to score plenty (i.e. Jamie Foxx), but for most of us, you'll have to venture in and out of relationships if you really want to learn how the game is won.
Only when you're willing and able to get RBIs. Relationships By Intent means you're not just dating for the sake of dating, it means that sometimes you're actually dating because you would like to be in a relationship. My problem before recently was that I was trying to get RBIs without giving myself a chance to see the pitches, I was swinging at the first pitch. It worked so I kept doing it. Now, I realize I can get more RBIs by seeing more pitches, being patient at the plate and getting more runners on base.
That's how you make the jump from player to all-star to MVP...first you see more pitches, then you get more runners on base, then you get more RBIs.
So that pretty much explains what an all-star is...it's a guy that is able to get a lot of runners on base. Several guys simply do what's easier...which is what I used to do to. Swing early and hope for contact, then just wait and hope I hit a home run occasionally or hope I could sneak into an RBI situation. All-stars don't play that way. Being an all-star is about using the fundamentals of the game.
If you apply the fundamentals of baseball, you're called a five-tool player. That means you can hit for average, hit for power (home runs), run (stolen bases), throw and field (defense). Similarly, in "the game" playing with a fundamental state of mind means you're getting a lot of at-bats to raise your average, you're able to hit home runs, you find yourself in favorable situations, and you don't find yourself in bad situations very often.
Personally, I'm still working on my defense. I sometimes find myself wondering how the hell I fell for a "sinker" (Part II) again. Other times, I realize I'm still not being patient enough at the plate. But more than ever before, I'm starting to understand all the fundamentals of the game.
I'm on my way to perennial all-star status in "the game". That doesn't mean I'm trying to get laid every weekend with a different woman. It doesn't mean I'm trying to stay single forever. And it doesn't mean I'm an expert at dating. It just means I'm better than most.
Now, I'll quickly summarize the other awards:
Cy Young - Given to the best pitcher - In "the game" a Cy Young award goes to the woman that dates infrequently, but always dates up...think the opposite of Paris Hilton.
Golden Glove - Given to the best defender - In "the game" this award goes to the best wingman...the girl or guy that interprets the field and is able to still help out his team (or friend) either to score (guy) or to make sure she doesn't allow a home run unexpectedly (girl).
Silver Slugger - Given to the best hitter - In "the game" the Silver Slugger is given to the man that never has a girlfriend, but always has a girl to hang out with whenever he wants. I definitely know who wins this award in my inner circle.
I hope this is still making sense...feel free to ask any questions...I'm about to take it up a notch next week when I examine the difference between winning the Pennant and winning the World Series.