Admit it. You sometimes use Facebook to check up on people you used to know. Old elementary, middle, and – most definitely – high school friends. College classmates. Former coworkers. Exes. Yes, exes. No, they don’t all live in Texas. That’s why Facebook is such a wonderful application of technology, isn’t it!?
Anyway, my point is simple: Facebook is a good stalking tool. But this isn’t stalking in the sense of following someone into their apartment building or grocery store. No, that’s real stalking. Like what happens to movie stars. Or Erin Andrews, bless her heart. No, I’m talking about Facebook stalking.
I know you won’t believe me, but this isn’t something I make a habit of (who wouldn’t say that, I know), but I promise you I’m being honest. Long story short, I ended up spending a couple of minutes…seriously, just a couple of minutes…searching around to see what was going on with some girls I dated in the past.
Not to name names or point fingers, but I ended my Facebook stalking session in a weird place because of what I found. I have three main conclusions: 1) I’m definitely at that age where all my exes start getting engaged (I counted three in the last 6 months alone). 2) I'm happy for them, but (and this is the crudest, cruelest thing I’ll ever say) I think I got the best of them, 3) I am a rather pathetic person. I mean would I want my exes looking at my Facebook pictures and making conclusions about my level of happiness, the person I’m dating, the life I live, the places I travel, etc.? Probably not.
But this damn Facebook thing is too damn powerful. I feel like it’s a waste of good technology not to catch up on old friends and flames. I mean that is why Zuck built it, right?
Maybe I should think about creating a category of blogs for regrettable posts. What do you think?
[Post-Disclaimer: My girlfriend says she doesn’t read my blog because they always seem to rub her the wrong way, so I’m going to chalk this one up as one of those blogs she won’t lay her eyes on. That, of course, means she will. As The Wire’s McNulty would say with a dumbfounded look, “what did I do?”]