Diatribes by Joah

Why I don't want to be great. Yet.

One of the things I love about writing stream of consciousness is that I have a lot of time to hear things, see things, experience things and get into informal conversations about a number of issues. And then, only after all of these things are considered, can I put fingers to keys and type these diatribes out in a matter of minutes. They usually don't take very long.

Could I put more time and thought into them? Sure. But that's not where I am right now. It's funny, I've been thinking a lot about how I spend my time, and how others perceive I spend my time, and in multiple conversations I've had people - typically women or people older than me - give me advice. They see my talent, my drive, and they want to help. They want to help me refine myself. But I can only refine myself for myself. Your help is just that, help. It's extremely appreciated, but cannot do for me what time, experience and internal dialogue can do for me.

The people in my life, especially my family, my good friends, my business partners, my mentors and personal board of advisers, are the most valuable external sources I have. Add them all up, and I'm backed by a lot of experience and wisdom. But experience is what will help me gain wisdom.

Here's one thing I've been wanting to share. This is the one nugget of wisdom I carry with me every day.

I don't need evidence to know I can be great. I prove it to myself everyday, even when what I'm doing is just good. The sheer volume of how many "goods" I've piled up to this point is a testament to my ability to cross-train for greatness long term.

Truth be told, I don’t want to be great at any one thing this early in my life.

Being great can be very pigeonholing. I want to tread carefully so that I have multiple paths to greatness rather than just one.

Think about it: If you do that thing in a great way and you become that guy. You’ve done a good job at being great so you can no longer settle for good elsewhere.

Actors, ballplayers, comedians, models, mothers, rockstars...they're all victims of single-track greatness.

Look at Andre 3000 and the perception of his rap skills versus his knack for style. He’s great at rap, he’s pretty good at fashion. Kanye West has the same story.

Look at Michael Jordan. Great at basketball so never allowed to be good at baseball.

Look at Barack Obama. Great at campaigning, so he’s not being allowed to be considered great at leading despite his dozens of accomplishments while in office.

Look at Bill Gates. First he was great at tech, then he had to be broken down. Microsoft had to be sued and the Goliath partially slayed in order for its leader to be re-introduced as a great man elsewhere. Today, we have the Gates Foundation.

Another Bill, Clinton, experienced a self-inflicted move from great to good – during the Lewinsky scandal and Al Gore’s 2000 loss – in order to re-invent himself as a great ex-president.

It’s hard to be both great and good. No one ever gives you that option.

You either have to be John Lennon or Marvin Gaye alive or you have to be them dead.

You either have to be LBJ respected and revered in 1960 or LBJ not running in 1968.

You either have to be JFK or Richard Nixon. America leaves its leaders no grey area.

That’s why, I’d rather not waste my time with greatness at a single thing just yet. 

I’d rather master the art of all-around goodness.

From here, I can pivot and position myself in whatever direction I so choose. A writer. A philanthropist. An activist. An entrepreneur. A fashion guru. A social media savant.

Whatever it is right now, I’m A-OK with being slightly better than OK at every single thing I do. Because this country has plenty of people trying to be our generation’s George Washington – be it in politics, tech, sports, etc. the title holders and leaders - but not nearly enough people emulating Ben Franklin – the thinkers, brainstormers, conceptualizers, tinkerers and doers.

Is this an excuse not to pursue greatness in my life? No, not at all. I know I can be better at a lot of things.

It’s just a request for patience. I have a plan for great, trust me, but it’s going to take me many more years and much more practice at good to get me there.

Why I Don't Take (Un) Constructive Criticism Very Well

I’ve been getting a lot of personally-directed “feedback” lately in both my personal and professional life. I put feedback in quotations because I don’t treat all of this information the same. 

Some of it helps; it’s constructive and I am completely thankful for this external perspective. In most cases, I rely on my friends and the personal board of advisors, of sorts, that I’ve built over the years to continuously provide this objective feedback. Some of it, however, is complete and utter bullshit. Typically it’s someone else’s insecurities being manifested into criticism of my personality.

What I’ve come to realize over the years is that a) I have a very strong personality that makes some people very enamored with me and really value me as a person AND it also rubs some people the wrong way, and b) the people who like me the most tend to be the most confident, self-assured people and those who like me least aren’t very confident or self-assured in who they are. This can be due to a number of factors, be they emotional, physical, professional or what have you. I’m not saying this as some kind of cop-out to reject criticism from people I don’t like, but it does speak to my frequent dismissal of critiques from naysayers who are pushing their low self-esteem onto me, someone who noticeably doesn’t have a self-esteem issue.

I deal with a lot of people who have a ton of confidence. That’s why when I was sitting down with the guys behind StyleCaster, good friends in New York (a city where only the confident succeed) recently, I realized that I’m getting to a point where all of my friends have to be creative professionals or entrepreneurs of some sort.

I find that putting out some creativity to the public – be it through a blog, a book, music or fashion – requires a good amount of self-confidence. Otherwise you couldn’t take a smidgen of criticism. I also realize that creating a business from scratch, like what I’ve done with Sneak Attack or Style X, takes a great deal of self-assuredness. You have to be the biggest believer in your own creation because people will always doubt you, even if you have something mega-successful like what Zuckerberg has done with Facebook or what Kanye was doing with 808s and Heartbreaks.

I also, unfortunately, deal with a few people with very little to no confidence in themselves. The thing that makes this even worse is that most of these people don’t realize how little confidence they actually have. I notice it because I’ve grown up in places like Killeen, Texas, and Greenville, South Carolina, where most people never make it out to see the world. I use “the world” loosely to describe both educational attainment, geographical, religious/spiritual, political or societal variation. Their insecurities mount over years because they never take the little risks of seeing anything outside of what they grew up in and who they grew up with. But place isn’t the only factor, some people explore the world…they go to college in a different state, take on a new job, etc. Still, their lack of confidence is fairly obvious once they meet someone like me.

Yeah, that was the most egotistical statement ever. Well, that and Kanye West saying, "In America, they want you to accomplish these great feats, to pull off these David Copperfield-type stunts. You want me to be great, but you don't ever want me to say I'm great?"

But what exactly does that mean? Well, if someone is good at basketball and they think they’re good at basketball, confidence in playing basketball follows. But when that person experiences someone who is even better at basketball, someone with even more confidence in their abilities, comes to the court that first person has two options: 1) work harder to play better, or 2) quit. There is no third option. It’s fight or flight.

Over the years, I’ve come to realize that the people I am most likely to be friends with are fighters. They are gamers willing to put in the work to be the best, or at least amongst the best. These are the people I admire, deeply respect and gain inspiration from. I am blessed to have a number of friends both in Austin and in other parts of the country who fit into this category. This is why Derek Fisher was so critical to the Lakers over those championship years. No, he wasn’t as talented as Shaq or Kobe or even Lamar Odom or Pau Gasol or Andrew Bynum, but he was a gamer. He never left the court unless he was forced to.

The people who fly, however, are not people I can get along with. Their battles are fought away from the field of play. They’d rather attack the basketball player’s practice behavior than his in-game results. They’d rather fight personality battles than focus on the big picture and long-term aspects of the game. That’s why, more often than not, these people get run off the court even if they begin to try showing some confidence. Even someone like LeBron James who operates with a ton of confidence for 45 minutes every game isn’t exactly full of confidence in those clutch minutes as playoff (or All Star) games close out.

As Tupac once said in the classic basketball film, Above the Rim, “this here is a man’s game…am I right?!”

I’m man enough to take criticism, if the people tossing it my way are “man” enough (they can be women, too) to battle me on the court rather than off of it.

What is your Purpose and Why does it matter?

I recently shared one of my professional goals with you and the response to this disclosure has been very positive. I’m thankful that I have friends and readers who understand me enough to know this wasn’t easy.

One of the reasons why sharing goals publicly is difficult is because people say you’re cocky or you have a big ego if you say something really ambitious and actually sound confident when you say it. I hate that. I feel like we used to be allowed to dream and have goals and think big and talk loud, but over the years – with so many people competing for jobs with their college educations and a struggling economy, online bullying, etc. – we’ve limited ourselves and gotten real quiet with our ambitions. We tell people not to take risk, to play it smart, to live in the moment, and a million other contradictory and stifling things that don’t help anyone reach their goals.

I’m a really ambitious person. People who love me know this about me, and most of them love me for it. My ambition is what has led me down a lot of roads that most people would never go down. Most of those roads led to something almost everyone wants or likes the sound of be it writing a book or starting my own business or taking a day job at Bazaarvoice after starting my own business or committing myself to so many extra-curricular, civic and philanthropic activities. This isn’t to brag, but simply to show that the risk were worth the rewards. They aren’t always, but they are often.

People need to take risks more often. Especially younger people. If you don’t have a husband or wife, kids, a mortgage, or anything family-related or financially-related that would hinder you from doing what you love, then you really have no excuse. Seriously, you have no fucking excuse. Quit making excuses. … No, I can’t hear you. Stop it.

I can’t tell you how many people ask me a question that starts with “how” and ends with something about time or making money or networking. How is important, but it’s only the 3^rd most important set of questions to ask.

The most important thing to ask yourself is What. What is your purpose? What unique skills and talents and interests do you have that would help you better understand and fulfill your purpose?

From there you should think Why. Why would you not pursue fulfilling your purpose? Why would you spend so much time, energy and resources doing something that is not that purpose?

I have a lot of great friends. At some point, most of my friends were extremely ambitious too. Either in middle school or high school or college or post-college I’ve heard my friends say some of the most lofty, inspired things about what they want to do in the world. I can count on one hand how many of them are doing it. I mean really doing it. In the last few years alone, I’ve seen friends from 19 years old to 29 years old let their true goals fall by the waist side.

Does this mean my friends are failures? HELL NO. My friends are quite accomplished and happy with what they’re doing, I’m sure.

This is to say that ambition alone is not enough. You have to know the What and the Why. You have to have a purpose that you are genuinely and tirelessly committed to. You have to know why you’re so committed to that purpose. You will be tested. You will be given easy outs. You will get stuck between rocks and hard places. You will fall in love. You will change cities. You will lose jobs. You will be underpaid. You will be overpaid to do something you don’t really love. You will be underappreciated. You will be appreciated for doing something you don’t really love. You will be underestimated. You will fail. You will cry. You will see others do what you want to do. You will want to give up. You will lose friends. You will not be understood.

But if you know What you want to do and can fully explain to yourself Why it’s so important, you will achieve your true goals. Does it mean you’ll finish 1^st every time? No. But you’ll find out that 1^st isn’t as important at finishing. Most people never even finish the most important race of their lives. Most people do not fulfill their purpose on this Earth.

Most people spend more time talking themselves into what they’re currently doing rather than actually doing what they are capable of.

I want to run the Olympics

There, I said it. That is my professional goal, and I honestly think it’s possible. Too many people are unable to state goals clearly, fewer are able to take the steps required to reach their goals and some people think publicly sharing your goals decreases the likelihood of them actually happening. All of these things are nonsense. Do you think Kobe Bryant hides the fact that he wants to win a 6^th NBA title? Does Tiger Woods hide his pursuit of Jack Nicklaus’ majors record? Do you think Gavin Newsome, the former mayor of San Francisco and current Lieutenant Governor of California, is denying a desire to someday be Governor of the nation’s largest state? I don’t think so.

A ton of people have helped me get to a point where, at 28 years old, I can legitimately say my professional goal is still within reach. The best way for me to thank them is to continue pursuing this goal and, hopefully, someday reach it. A few people may use this information to put themselves in my professional path, but I’m OK with that. If I’m meant to be the Chairman of the IOC, it’ll happen regardless of someone’s attempts to stifle me. If it’s not meant to be, it won’t be and it won’t be thanks to any naysayers.

The Olympics represent so many of my core interest: geo-politics, economic development, cities, sports, marketing, culture, and entertainment. In the future, the Olympics will also represent technology, lifestyle, mobility, urbanism and global citizenship.

I felt it appropriate to share this goal for a couple of reasons: 1) A lot of people wonder how and why I do all the things I do. 2) A lot of people have no idea of all of the things I do. Both groups probably have no idea if any of the things I’m doing will help me one day be the head of the Olympics. 

For those who know all the things I do sharing this goal will hopefully give you a better understanding of why no single thing is enough. You take out any one of the things I do and I may not be able to get the necessary acumen or qualifications needed to handle the responsibilities of the IOC chief. That’s my honest belief. And, to that point, I won’t be doing too many things that don’t help me someday get there unless it has a very high human impact like a civic or nonprofit cause.

This is not to say that the things I get involved with are for the sole purpose of one day being the IOC chairman, that’s silly talk. My point is that nothing I do today is disconnected from what I want to do in the future.

For those of you whom have no clue of all the roles I have, it’s important you look beyond the titles: director of market planning at Bazaarvoice, co-founder and executive producer of Style X, style contributor to Huffington Post, board member for AIDS Services of Austin, Vice Chair of the Austin Music Commission, co-author of Real Role Models.

What these roles mean is that I’m well-rounded and bring a robust perspective to the table. I’m not a pigeon-holed kinda guy. I’m more Renaissance in my thinking. Why does any of this matter? Well it’s simple: the future of the Olympics will be much more diverse and expansive than they are today.

So how do the things I’m doing today prepare me for this future role?

Well, Bazaarvoice is an industry-leading Internet software company that understands consumers, content and commerce. That link is becoming more and more important for both media enterprises and major retailers and brands, and this connection will prove invaluable for the Olympics as they have to manage their role as part-event, part-brand with the explosion of social media, global connectivity and urban living. Bid cities will need to understand not just the economic impact the Olympics has, but also the branding effect it has and who stands to benefit or lose from this impact. Cities like Beijing and Los Angeles have seemed to do a much better job of understanding this aspect much better than cities like Athens and Atlanta. I’m learning a ton about consumers, big data and technology at Bazaarvoice and I’m sure this will be critical for my future gig.

Candidly, Style X has plugged me into the fashion industry quicker than I’ve seen anyone break in without being a hot new designer Vogue czar Anna Wintour fell in love with or a fashion photographer like The Sartorialist’s Scott Schuman. What Style X allows me to do is connect within an exclusive industry while simultaneously disrupting it. I liken this to what Money Ball did for MLB or Fantasy Football did to the NFL, and I want to find the next Fantasy Football-like business venture for the Olympics. Being linked with the fashion industry through Style X gives me a great case study to demonstrate an ability to uncover hidden value by doing market research and exposing gaps in the industry or major events like SXSW.

Being a blogger is super integral to what I think I could bring to the Olympics. I learned this first-hand while doing media analysis and research for the current IOC chair during the Beijing Olympics. Bloggers, unlike traditional journalists, focus on the human elements, the interesting elements of an event rather than the newsworthy ones. Bloggers want superfans, not just eyeballs to please advertisers. The Olympics need to tap back into the superfans. The Olympics need to learn from what FIFA has done with World Cup…actually, what adidas and Nike have done with World Cup. As a blogger and social media wonk, I’ve learned some key lessons about building an audience, and think the IOC could make a ton more money from sponsorships with companies like Visa if they can deliver a superfan base.

Also, the Olympics should be a much bigger platform for place. Sure, we all know the hosting city and NBC or whoever is doing the broadcasting does a series of segments about the respective city, but the focus on place is still missing. The Olympics should celebrate creative energy, highlight urbanism and champion global citizenry. None of this is possible if the only place-minded activities happening are about sponsorships and news segments. My service on the AIDS Services of Austin board, the Austin Music Commission and the like are ways for me to better understand how to create a heightened sense of importance and support for place-based causes that the entire world should get behind like supporting people affected by HIV/AIDS and supporting live music and the Creative Class. The Olympics should be finding ways to tap into the education, health and human services needs of the cities they take place in and channeling that into a global awareness and fundraising initiative for causes. The Olympics should involve creatives around the world in an effort to celebrate global citizenry and a lifestyle of excellence similar to the excellence exemplified by gold medal winners. We can’t all be Olympians, but we can all excel at something.

Most of all, the Olympics should remind us that we all share this planet (cue the Captain Planet song) and we all have a purpose and challenge in life to fulfill that purpose. It should also be a reminder of the struggles and successes of humanity and the opportunities before our generation. There are races to win and records to be broken; some in sports you love and others in sports you’ve never watched. This is akin to the life goals we are challenged to meet; some of which we share with others and others we face alone.

I decided to share this goal of mine because I think regardless of whether or not I reach it, it’s important that you know everything I’m doing is teaching me something that serves a purpose today and in my distant future. I’m training just like those Olympians, and you too should train regularly. How hard you train to meet your life goals says a lot about how important winning is to you. And when that DJ Khaled “All I Do Is Win” song comes on, I want to be able to rap is truthfully.

Yes, this needs to be said...and said again.

Sharing a Facebook Status Update (from Christmas)

This was originally posted on my Facebook wall on Christmas and I don't typically share those things as blogs, but I thought this one kinda made sense.  - js

I do the same prayer every night. It's actually been the same since I was around 17 years old. I thank God for the many blessings he's bestowed upon the world, with quite a few of those benefiting myself and my loved ones. I ask for forgiveness, and the ability to learn from my mistakes. I ask that I be given the opportunity to meet and learn from new people and treat the people I already know and love as treasures in my life, live in and travel to places my worldview is expanded and improved by, and be granted situations and circumstances that help me get closer to fulfilling whatever purpose it is that He has for me. I pray for safety, security, health and understanding for the people of this world, especially the people who've touched my life and continue to do so today. I pray that we constantly learn that it's not always the blessings we're in need of or should ask for directly, but the ability to receive those blessings and maximize the benefits of them to others and ourselves. Most of all, I do this not as an incredibly religious person. Not as a frequent churchgoer. I can't say I've been to church in half a decade. Not as someone who is perfect or even close to perfect. Can't say I ever will be, either. Not as someone looking for favors every day of the week, month and year. Can't say I'm not mightily blessed though. But instead, I do this because it's the single most important thing anyone can do. Have a conversation with God. Whether you're Christian or Jewish or Muslim or Hindu or Buddhist or Shinto or Mormon (since there are a few of those), this is the most important thing you can do. I'm not big on proselytizing so please don't take it as such. I am, however, a fan of sharing. Social sharing. Experience sharing. Lesson sharing. This past month has been all about Music Sharing. So on this day, whether you get into the gift-giving craze or not, remember it's really all about sharing. Sharing in the life of Jesus, yes. But also sharing a sense of family, friendship and kinship and togetherness around blessings received throughout the year. At least that's what it means to me. I try to get better at sharing everyday. I don't always succeed, but I do always try. When I fail, I pray to be given another opportunity. I write all this to say a huge THANK YOU to each and everyone of you for sharing a little piece of your life and lessons with me. May I return the favor aplenty in 2012 and beyond.

Challenging the "It" Factor

I don't have the "it" factor. Seriously. I question it's existence the way atheist question God's existence. But I work my ass off with the few talents I have, make the most of the relationships the man upstairs has blessed me with and pray that opportunities will present themselves if I put the work in.

Michael Jordan was talented, but so was Earl Manigault. What Jordan had was timing, help and hard work, and more timing. Same with George Clooney, who could've easily peaked on the television the same way David Duchovny has. And I'm pretty sure people like Michael Jackson or Beyonce who were the leaders of their respective packs (or families), were beneficiaries of timing and persistence moreso than this elusive "it"-ness. 

And that's just pop culture talk. People like to believe that JFK had "it" and that MLK had "it" too. Hell, even Obama seemed to have "it" a few years ago. But all this talk about some special concoction of greatness is just a shortcut to the truth.

The only "it" factor anyone has is their ability to apply their unique mix of interests, relationships and talents to a very particular time.

Michael needed Scottie Pippen. JFK needed Bobby. MLK needed SNCC and other organizations and leaders. Beyonce needed her dad. And all of them needed those people not necessarily to develop their talents, but to accentuate and amplify them in the perfect way at a very precise time.

You mean to tell me Michael was that much more talented than LeBron James is today? Sheeeeeit, as State Sen. Clay Davis from The Wire would say. You think JFK was any smarter than his brother, Bobby? Or that Dr. King didn't have his shortcomings? Exactly...it just can't be. 

These men, and women, are responsible for their own success just like my watch is responsible for keeping me on schedule. There were, and continue to be, several key factors contributing to this "it" factor concept.

Some of us may find it easier to focus on some mythical characteristic that few men and women amongst us seem to have naturally as children, and even fewer seem to foster in adulthood, but the idea that you have to possess something outside yourself to succeed to great heights is bogus.

You can do absolutely anything and everything you want to do in this world. No, not if you put your mind to it. No, you actually need to put your energy and focus and your dedication and persistence and your time and talents to it as well. And, quite possibly, your friends and colleagues too. You have to put it all in.

The difference between people who become great and are viewed as special versus those who do and are not is rather simple: they have a much more clear definition and understanding of what it means to be all the way in. Everyone else is just guessing; most likely they guess themselves halfway in, at best.

Are you halfway in in your life?

If so, don't expect "it" to happen for you.

It is only what you make it. You can make "it' great, but greatness does not happen to you.

Not that greatness is something that means you'll become rich or famous as the people I've mentioned above have done. Sometimes, this concoction of dedication, hard work, key relationships and timing is applied to something that will make your life and others' lives better without any special attention or recognition.

Perhaps you figure out a way to lose weight or commit yourself to doing a century bike ride. Maybe you're turning the corner on your career and re-dedicating yourself to school or learning a new skill that will get your more happiness in your professional life. "It" could even show itself when you're deciding to get out of a bad relationship or taking a risk and getting into a new one.

My point is this: while there's no such thing as the "it" factor, there are plenty of characteristics that can help you achieve the kinds of things that people who are believed to have some special quality achieve. These can be things of worldly significance, a la MLK, or things of daily consequence, a la your career. Regardless, the moment you stop worrying about "it" and starting applying everything you have...giving your all...is the moment "it" will become who you are.

Deep Thoughts, on Swing Sets and Life

Think back to your childhood for a moment and answer this: What was your favorite part about being on a swing set?

(a) Being pushed by someone who cared about you.

OR

(b) Getting to kick your feet up to the sky and let loose.

I think if forced to choose just one, the result would tell you a lot about the person answering.

If you chose (a) that may mean that you're a family-or-friend first type of person. That you prefer to have the support of loved ones before embarking on a new, potentially dangerous endeavor. That you get more joy out of being around others than being alone. That you welcome support and contributions from others.

However, it may also mean you like bossing people around. Perhaps you wouldn't reciprocate that loving push at all. It could be possible that this seemingly fun activity is something you're doing solely to take advantage of the other person. There are plenty of ways to analyze this activity.

On the other hand, if you chose (b) this could indicate that you're a freewheeling, make-the-most-of-the-moment type of soul. This may hint at a desire to be one with the Earth. Or get closer to a higher power. Maybe you just like the feeling of flying or letting go of reality.

Then again, this high-flying activity could mean you're not yourself when you're grounded with others. Or that you're holding a lot of pent up energy, possibly even frustration, and need these types of moments. Perhaps you just have more fun when you're further away from others and have some alone time.

Interestingly, a swing only allows you to feel these sensations, think these thoughts and channel these energies for brief moments. Still, these brief moments can often appear as microcosms for how we approach life in general.

Then that leaves me with one final  question...

What happens if you choose (c) being on a swing set in general?

It may seem like this simple-minded, happy-go-lucky person is the most appreciative of the opportunity for some joy and excitement, particularly if a friendly push is involved, but me thinks it may suggest a lack of consistency, realism and stability in life in general.

Promise I'm not on some stuff...just thinking out loud.